why do people on this website refuse to educate the very people who are ignorant about your identities thats just really stupid and counter productive
like you want cis people to respect your identities but how can they do that if youre always keeping them in the dark
the balls in your court
i’ve never understood I DON’T HAVE TO EDUCATE YOU like okay why are you even talking about anything social justice related, that’s the whole fucking point
to educate people and make them realize what we’ve gone through and understand us better
Poor cis people.. Stumbling around in the dark… When suddenly.. A Gender? That is so scary and confusing.. Keep those trans genders talking, make sure they explain their alien lifestyle in simple, easy to swallow terms.. Nothing too wild… we will never get trans police men unless we as trans people start collectively licking cis ass. Trans rights!
This is why no one is required to educate you:
If we (LGBT+) people do not educate them, who will? The same goes for those of us on the autism spectrum, with disabilities, etc.
Google can only do so much to teach someone about something, without guidance from real-world teachers. A lot of people, cis or otherwise, are asking because they would rather learn about gender/sexuality differences from actual people, instead of a cold and clinical website. Wikipedia has the definitions and textbook explanations, sure, but does it have the real-world experiences of real people? No! I read TONS and tons of medical literature when I was preparing to become and EMT, but I learned more from the hands-on clinical experiences than I ever did from the textbooks. Should my Paramedic partner(s) have said “It’s not MY job to educate you, rookie scum” when I was new and had questions? After all, I had already read all the books and done the tests, so I should have learned all I needed to know, right? NO. Real-world, hands-on experience ALWAYS trumps website or textbook learning! I have been a private music teacher for 10 years now, and I say the same thing there. You can read all the music theory you want, but only a living teacher is going to be able to really show you how to play that instrument with any sort of mastery or technique.
Furthermore, you never know when the person asking is actually newly questioning their “cis” gender and/or sexual orientation, and by treating them like garbage and saying “It’s not MY job to educate you,” you are setting a very, very poor example for them and possibly even scaring them away from the community that should be there to help and provide a safer environment for them. With understanding and education comes acceptance, and is acceptance and tolerance not what we are trying to gain? It might make you momentarily feel better to lash out against an “oppressor,” but what does it really accomplish other than making our entire community look like a bunch of children with a blanket fort and a “no
girls cishets allowed” sign taped to the door? What are we going to do next, throw rocks at them?
I am autistic and pansexual, with what I consider “balanced” gender (I’m comfortable identifying as female and have no physical dysphoria, but consider my mind to be equally male/female), and I am aware that most of the general population has no real idea about any of it, other than what they might see in the media or read in passing on someone’s blog. If they’re polite and genuinely curious about these things, and wish to educate themselves, WHO BETTER TO LEARN FROM than someone who’s actually THERE, LIVING it?
Instead of this shitty “It’s not MY job to educate you” attitude, try taking the approach of providing someone with web links AND THEN offering further help if they need it.
If I had come to Tumblr and read this sort of stuff while I was coming to terms with my sexuality, I can say right now that it would make me feel absolutely terrible about my identity and how I choose to express it in the real world. It still does, actually, which is why I participate very little in Tumblr’s social justice community. All this garbage about “kill all cis people” and “cishet scum” and “why would you choose to be cishet when it’s so boring” (implying that orientation/gender is a choice, which is kinda exactly the opposite of what we’re trying to teach said cis/hetero people) is NOT going to be something that actually helps us in the long run. Not only does it scare off cis/straight people (do we really need to give them REAL reasons to be wary/fearful of us? what exactly is that going to accomplish, other than getting more of us assaulted and killed?), but it also scares off new/questioning people who see that kind of language and decide to stay closeted since they feel that both cis and trans people are just going to be assholes to them until they’re “properly” trans/genderfluid/etc.
Luckily, my college’s LGBT club was very educational and welcoming to all as long as they behaved respectfully, and I had so many positive learning experiences that I was finally able to admit that I was at least bisexual, and actually have an aesthetic preference for women.
I know this rant probably won’t change much, if anything, but I had to try. If any of my fellow LGBT+ people who read this are angered by the fact that I think we should teach people instead of throwing rocks at them, perhaps you need to examine your methods. Are you after equality and justice, or are you after revenge and turning the oppressors into the oppressed?
If you can’t handle a simple question without flying off the handle and treating someone like dirt on the assumption that they’re cis/straight, do the rest of us a favour and just ignore it, or maybe show a modicum of respect and politely direct them to someone who CAN answer it.
This is all well and good for people who actually want to “learn”, but I have never in my life come across a person who wanted to. Every single person who has ever asked me about my being intersexed (who wasn’t someone I already knew) was just doing it to bait and argue with me about my identity, or to be a shithead and ask invasive, inappropriate questions to laugh about later.
If someone can’t be bothered to google nonbinary or anything similar to be able to create a framework for a mature discussion, they aren’t genuinely interested in knowing - they’re looking for a “lol what a freakshow” mock-discussion and they completely get off on it.